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  Lengths for Love

  CS Patra

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  Lengths for Love

  CS Patra

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  Copyright © CS Patra, 2013

  All Rights Reserved.

  ISBN: 978-1-936513-58-1

  PUBLISHER’S NOTE

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to groups, professions, actual persons living or dead, events, incidents, actual court cases or locales is purely coincidental.

  Without limiting the rights under the copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  For those who make this world easier for me

  Chapter 1

  They say one has to make sacrifices for the people they love. One has to go at any length, any cost, any way to make the other person’s dreams come true. That if one cared enough about someone, they’ll do anything the other asks. They’d give up their life if necessary. After all, they would do the same for whomever they loved.

  And for the girl I loved, Alexis Cloud, I would read vampire literature. In fact, I watched vampire TV shows and movies. No, I devoured vampire lore. No matter what my thoughts on it were, I did it all for her.

  It sounded ridiculous, but I did read it for her. She had a thing for vampires and romance. Put them together and she was hooked. It didn’t matter how poorly written the book was; it would always be the best thing she ever read. From those books she’d get into movies, shows, and anything else that dealt with them. My life was soon filled with vampires as well.

  It was funny how quickly this changed. I entered college to study veterinary medicine, and there was where I met her. She had her nose buried in a book and bumped into me while I was fretting over my notes. The shy way she said “Hi” and my blabbing was enough for us to know we had a spark. Fireworks went off and we knew we had something. It was the beginning of many things. Then she popped the first vampire story in my face and I almost lost it. I had a lot of issues already and didn’t want to get hooked into a world of vampires. What I had seen and read about them just was not appealing. I didn’t find them scary, alluring, or romantic.

  But I took it all in because of Alexis. I loved every bit of her. Even when she was gushing about some vampire couple making love under the moon, I adored her. I loved the way her black hair fell on her shoulders and bounced around when she got excited with a story. I loved how her dark eyes would light up as she read the climaxes or watched the best part of a movie. I loved how she’d get close to me when someone was about to be attacked. Even though I was not paying much attention, her being there was enough to make me sit through it.

  Yes, I did a lot for Alexis and I wasn’t proud of it all the time. I knew I had it in me to do everything for her. If I wanted to, I’d buy everything in the world—even if it made me broke and I had to drop out of school. I just didn’t know how far I was willing to go.

  But I would get my chance to find that out toward the end of my fall semester. It was only weeks before exams started, and I needed to get away from studying for a while. So I went over to Alexis’ dorm room to check up on her. She didn’t have the same subjects I did and her exams were already over, so I knew she would be available. Thank goodness, because we both needed the break and I needed to be with her. Even if it meant more vampire lore, so be it. It sure beat the hell out of organic chemistry.

  “Guess what I’m reading?” was what she greeted me with when I got to her room, waving a book around. I didn’t need to guess at that point. “It’s the best thing ever!”

  “Another one?” I asked, slightly disappointed. All right, that was a complete lie. I was disappointed. For the last couple of months, the only thing I had dealt with was the undead. Specifically, I saw nothing but vampires. Murderous vampires. Romantic vampires. Completely crazy vampires. Vampires that stalked their victims and lovers alike. Vampires that were moping around, cursing their existence, and doing macramé. Vampires, vampires, vampires. Alexis filled my entire life with her love for two things: me and vampires. What a combination.

  “Another one,” she confirmed, giving me the book to read. “I read it already and was just reading it again. You can borrow it if you want.”

  I looked at the title. “Kiss From the Vine”. Somehow, the title alone made this story sound painful. Why would anybody want to kiss a vine in the first place? The fancy drawing of lips with vines intertwined around them did not look pleasant. It looked like barbed wire was pressing down on those lips. I would imagine that no good could come out of it. My father had gotten a horrible rash once from a vine that had left its mark on his arm. If he had kissed the vine, it would not be as lovely the story made it out to be.

  “What is this about?” I asked.

  “The back should tell you.”

  Oh, I had to turn to the back, of course. I knew it was wrong, but I was judging this book by its cover. I saw the front and I didn’t like it. Scanning the back didn’t help anything. It had a bunch of reviews with a little blurb about Madeline running to Paris to be with her one true vampire love, Desmond. She was willing to die and give everything up to be with him. She had already given her soul to the devil and he had granted her a chance to be with Desmond, but she had to find him. On the way, she would endure “much hardship” and “the threats on the rise” to get to him. There was no explanation about the hardship or the threats. All I knew was that I hated Madeline and Desmond, whoever the hell they were. I hoped they had died.

  “Well, what do you think?”she asked, looking up at me eagerly with those dark eyes. Oh, how I hated to hurt her when she gave me the puppy look.

  “Uh, I think I’ll let you enjoy this masterpiece,” I said, smirking on the last half of my sentence. “I don’t think Madeline and Desmond’s love story is my taste.”

  “You hate it, don’t you? You took one look and hated it,” she realized.

  I had to give up. She had nailed me and I had no way of getting around it. “I’m sorry, babe, but it seems like you give me the same story to read every single time. I feel like I’m reading about the same, tortured soul. He wants to be with a human, but he can’t be with her. He runs from her and she acts like a twit, running after him. And he’s everything a vampire is supposed to be. What’s the fun in that?”

  “Ian, darling, there’s more to vampire literature and lore than you think,” she said. “They’re more than just bloodsuckers who hate the sunlight, turn into bats, and sleep in coffins.”

  “Oh yeah, they fall in love with the first thing that moves towards them,” I snorted. “Couldn’t you fall for werewolves, or mummies, or even aliens? How come nobody writes about aliens falling in love anymore? Or mummi
es in love? Or mummies in love with aliens?! Now that’s original!”

  “Ian...”

  “Alexis, please. I don’t want to see another vampire movie or read another vampire book or even watch a new vampire show,” I admitted. “Look, I can support your interests and all, but... a guy can only see so much vampire love before he starts to fall asleep halfway through a story.”

  “But what about tonight?” she asked. “You said we could go see the new vampire movie tonight. Isn’t that why you’re here?”

  Oh, right. I was here to take her on a date. She had told me about this movie right before exams started and suggested that it would be a good way to relieve stress. For me, it would be a good way to get some sleep. Still, I didn’t really look forward to spend almost eight dollars just so I could snooze in a chair for two hours.

  “Can’t we see another movie for a change?”

  “Just once, baby,” she purred, leaning against me. “I haven’t been feeling well as of late and you promised you would go to this one with me.”

  I stopped complaining right then. Alexis hadn’t been feeling well lately and I was noticing how tired she got. She couldn’t stay awake for her vampire movies like in the past, and our dates sometimes ended after we had dinner. We didn’t have our usual conversations and the fun dates because of how fast she was getting exhausted. I didn’t want to risk hurting her, so I kept everything on the down low. Even still, we didn’t do much and she still got tired. Her grandmother had given her some homemade remedies, but I didn’t see any improvement from them.

  “Okay, okay,” I caved in. “But you also promised to see a doctor about your exhaustion. You keep complaining that you don’t feel well and you have pain everywhere, yet you haven’t been to see anyone.”

  “Truth to be told, it hurts to move around sometimes,” she sighed. “But, you are right. I will go see a doctor tomorrow and take whatever medicine he gives me. I can’t rely on what my grandmother makes anymore as it’s not helping.”

  “That’s my girl.” I kissed her forehead. “Come on. If we don’t leave now, we’re going to miss out on the previews.”

  “I know. That’s the only part you care about in the movie,” but she still took my hand and we went together to catch the latest vampire hoopla. It was the last time that I remembered us having a good time. We did end up coming home early due to her feeling tired, but I assumed that it had just been a long day.

  I turned out to be completely wrong. Alexis did not get better after that night nor did she go to the doctor’s immediately, like she promised. Instead, she waited until my exams were through. She was getting hurt, but she wasn’t healing. She didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I found myself frustrated with her lack of enthusiasm in anything. It wasn’t long before her vampire love wasn’t doing it for her. That had been my last straw; I went with her to the doctor to see what was wrong.

  Any hopes that I had of a small illness were dashed once all the test results were in: Alexis had leukemia. The news hit me hard, like a tornado crashing inside my body and I almost fell over. I couldn’t speak or breathe when they read the results. Alexis herself was frustrated and refused to believe it. But not even she could deny the facts. She was sick, she needed treatment, and every plan she had now would have to be on hold.

  I had broken down for the first time in my life. I called my father to tell him the news and the tears had come right then. I didn’t want to fall apart, I wanted to be strong for her, but I couldn’t help it. I fell apart as I explained what happened, expecting him to scold me for showing weakness. Instead, he spoke softly and did his best to comfort me. He even offered to come over and give us support while she went through the treatments. I was pleased to hear that and almost took his offer. Ultimately, I told him to stay, as it would interfere with his job. As long as I was there, Alexis was going to have someone by her side.

  As for Alexis, she was numb about the whole thing. She accepted it, but I didn’t see her cry. It began to worry me because she was not a Stepford wife. She wasn’t going to take anything lightly, even if she was being brave. I finally had to ask her one night as I was visiting her room. She was still reading her book when I came in, but I knew she was not thinking of Madeline and Desmond. There were more important things than those two right now.

  “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Everything that has happened?” I began. When she started to nod, I cut her off. “You know, you don’t have to put a front for me. If you’re afraid, just say so. I’m not going to judge you because of it.”

  “Ian, I can’t deal with it. I know you won’t believe me but it’s not because I’m afraid. It’s because I know what will happen.” She shook her head. “I haven’t even started my treatment, but I know I can’t stand it. I’m afraid that it’s the end of the line for me.”

  “You’re just getting cold feet right now,” I assured her. In reality, I felt the same pressure she did. “It’s going to be fine. You’ll see. I know it doesn’t sound pleasant at all, but it’ll cure you.”

  “Nothing will cure me. Ian, they don’t think I have much of a chance. They say that my cancer spread so far that surviving this long was a miracle!” She rubbed her temples and sat down on her bed. “I’m sorry. I want more than anything for it to go away, but I have to face the truth. I’m not getting better.”

  “You’re just saying that!” I shot out. “Come on, Alexis, you don’t know...”

  “No, Ian! I mean it! It’s real! There really is no hope for someone like me! None whatsoever!” she exclaimed, flinging “Kiss From the Vine” across the room. It hit the wall and landed on the floor, half-open. “I spent so long thinking everything would be okay. I dreamed that I was going to be fine! I was so sure I could beat this if I tried! Other people have beaten it! I thought I would be like those other people! But it’s not. Nothing’s fine.” She swallowed and repeated, “Nothing’s fine.”

  I went over and picked up her book. Just because it was a crap book didn’t mean it deserved this treatment. “Don’t let this get to you, babe. I know it looks hopeless, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep fighting.”

  “I suppose you’re right.” She leaned down on her bed and took out one of the many vampire-related magazines she had subscribed to. “I can’t go down like this. I have to try and hold it off, even if I can’t win.” The optimism came back and I saw her smile. “Yeah, I can keep fighting. I don’t know how this will end, but it can’t hurt. At the very least, I can say I did my best.”

  “That’s more like it.” I squeezed her shoulder and lay on my stomach to join her. Stroking her dark hair, I added, “I know they made it seem hopeless, but it won’t be. I won’t give up.”

  “Then I won’t either.” She leaned in and our foreheads touched. “Thank you for setting me straight, Ian. I’m glad I don’t have to go through this alone.”

  “I wouldn’t leave you for a minute,” I promised as we went in for a kiss. “I know you will be fine on your own, but I wouldn’t be. Someone has to be there in case something goes wrong. If your family can’t make it, then at least your boyfriend should. I’ll be there as long as you need me.”

  “I knew you would say that,” she murmured. “You amaze me, Ian. You do so many things for someone you’ve loved for only two years.”

  “Well, those two years are enough to know that I love you.” I helped her get comfortable in bed. “I think you need some rest. Screaming about it isn’t going to change anything. I hate to lay it out like that, but you know I’m right.”

  “I do. And maybe if I have a clear head, I can approach everything with a better perspective,” she said. “It kind of makes me wish I was a vampire.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “Oh yeah. No more pain for the rest of my life.”

  I knew that wasn’t true, but I decided not to argue. Instead, I kissed her forehead and covered her up. “Try not to think about it. I’ll see you tomorrow night, okay?”

  “Ye
ah, tomorrow night,” she agreed. “I won’t try to depress you.”

  “You don’t depress me.” It was true. She never depressed me, but the situation broke my heart. I felt helpless here. I wanted to have the cure, but I didn’t. No one did.

  I headed toward the door as she settled into her bed and lay her head on the pillow. “Have a good night, babe.”

  “Good night right back at you.”

  I turned off the light and left her room, locking the door behind me. Despite calming her down, my nerves were still rattled. I slid to the ground and sat there. It was times like this that I wished her vampire fantasy could come true. It was the first time I wanted them to be real. I wouldn’t care if it made her immortal and helpless during the day. She’d be alive and free of pain, like she wanted.

  Walking out of the building, I looked up to where her dorm room was. The lights were out, but I knew that she wasn’t sleeping. With the news that hit her, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she vowed never to sleep again. She wants to be like the vampires in her stories and movies, going through every night without rest. She’d feel like she had to spend every minute.

  One more glance. Her room was still dark. I thought for a second about running up the stairs and peeking in, to make sure she was there. Giving up, I headed back to my own dorm for another sleepless night.

  I was getting used to those.

  Chapter 2

  From that point on, I visited her whenever I could and stayed as long as possible. She spent most of her time in bed now, so I decided not to do anything big. Whatever vampire-related thing she wanted to do, I would do it without fail. Sometimes all we could afford to do was talk all night. It worked for me. By then, my exams were over and I was ready to help her with anything else.

  Yet I didn’t know what was happening with her cancer. I wasn’t sure when she was going to start chemotherapy or if she had even started it. She wasn’t telling me very much about the treatments or the illness. At first, I figured she was just embarrassed by it, but she never felt like bringing it up. Worst of all, I had not heard anything from her family. I had no idea if they even knew she was sick. Who was driving her back and forth from the clinic? Who looked after her at night? Why did no one come around while I was there? To make matters worse, her stress was giving me stress. I would look in the mirror and notice the same skinny black-haired, brown-eyed guy that I had always known. The difference was that he was worn out.